What is Identity Exploration?

The development of positive identity is characterised by a sense of purpose, a positive view of personal future, constructive self-esteem and personal power.

Research has also demonstrated how a positive identity can be protective during challenging times, preventing damaging self-narratives and allowing adolescents to grow and learn from difficult experiences. A positive identity doesn't necessarily mean an extroverted and confident personality, but reflects an internal approach. There are a number of psychological theories pertaining to identity formation, but all describe the process of exploration.

Notably, practitioner Berzonsky defined three categories of exploration that describe the different ways in which we explore and form identities:

  1. Informational Identity Style: Adolescents actively seek out information and engage in deep exploration of their values and beliefs. They are open-minded and proactive in their search for self-understanding.
  2. Normative Identity Style: Adolescents tend to conform to the expectations and norms set by their family, school or social circles. They might rely heavily on established norms and traditions in shaping their identity.
  3. Diffuse-Avoidant Identity Style: Those with this style are characterised by a lack of direction and avoidance of identity-related decisions. They may show reluctance to explore or commit to any particular identity, leading to a more fragmented sense of self.

While your son may be inclined towards one of these identity development styles, they may demonstrate others in different decisions and situations. We want to be encouraging an informational identity style when possible, as the most beneficial for the development of positive personal identity. Some situations may feel unsafe to explore within, and as your child faces new experiences, it's okay for them to rely more heavily on a normative style for guidance. However, never branching out from this will prevent a strong internal sense of self, and make it more difficult to navigate risky decisions. Youth demonstrating a diffuse-avoidant style most consistently require additional support, and more likely to experience mental health issues.

Teenagers who have a strong sense of identity are more empowered to make stronger life decisions, are typically more optimistic, and better-equipped to handle challenges such as peer pressure and academic stress.

Recognising how your child is inclined to approach problems and decisions can help you respond appropriately. Research indicates that while identity formation is a personal journey, family communication and perceived support play a significant role in determining positive outcomes.

How to Raise Successful Kids - Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dean of Freshmen at Stanford

Supporting their own path means, they get there "on their own volition, fuelled by their own desires, capable and ready to thrive" - Julie Lythcott-Haims

Setting Goals and Encouraging Self-Efficacy

Wanting your child to dream big is a hallmark of love and admiration – however, putting pressure on him to achieve highly whether in grades, sport, performance or other domains, can be counterproductive and discourage healthy identity exploration. Youth who feel achievement pressure may be inclined towards a normative identity style as they feel unable to explore their own.

Alternatively, by setting manageable and achievable goals and celebrating small successes will help build self-efficacy—the belief in one’s abilities to achieve tasks and work towards the things that matter most to your child. In order to feel comfortable to try new things, it's important to feel safe, capable, and to know that failure isn’t reflective of an inability to achieve goals. Teaching him it’s ok to say ‘no’ when something is overwhelming or conflicts with their goals is also important, in order to continue exploring their identity. Healthy exposure is considerately aligned to your child's skills and readiness, in contrast 'flooding' is exposing your son to an environment that is beyond their capabilities and often works against the resilience you are trying to achieve. Sometimes, it will be reasonable to require something from your son, while important to be aware of how often and how big these expectations are, alongside an openness to reconsider or reframe.

Fostering Exploration Through Communication

Supporting your child's identity development involves encouraging exploration which will involve giving him freedom to make choices. However, this doesn’t mean a ‘hands-off approach’ – on the contrary, it's great to be actively involved in your child’s life, maintaining a supportive presence. Healthy communication is key to this process. Research highlights that open dialogue about values, goals, and interests fosters exploration and helps adolescents develop a coherent sense of self. If your child appears unwilling to talk openly about these things, simply chatting about small things can open communication lines and allow more meaningful conversations to feel more natural. It’s also important to choose a non-combative style when children express goals contrary to your own, as this can sever communication. Instead, choosing age appropriate conversations framed with curiosity will help your son feel comfortable exploring his thoughts and feelings, in light of disagreements.

Building Self-Esteem

Self-esteem plays a crucial role in identity development. Adolescents with low self-esteem are less likely to engage in exploration and may approach new tasks with hesitation. They often have an increased vulnerability to adversity and may see bad situations as reflecting a problem with them rather than the circumstance. As a parent, fostering an environment where your child feels valued and capable is fundamental to building their self-esteem. Appropriate positive reinforcement and supportive feedback are effective strategies in this regard. Sometimes feedback will be constructive but not positive. Framing the opportunity for growth, and separating failure from ability will provide a secure base for children to learn, and continue exploring a healthy identity and mitigate feelings of shame, embarrassment, and inadequacy.

Modelling Self Regulation and Self Reflection

Children look to their parents as role models and guides for identity exploration (even if they wouldn’t admit it!). Whether they end up following in your footsteps or treading a new path, the influence of parental expectations and behaviour is paramount to their identity formation. Specifically, the way in which parents allow and support failure, provide a safe base to explore new things, and respond to novel, stressful or unexpected situations.

Notably, youth will not only pay attention to how you respond to a situation, but how you respond after the fact. Self-reflection is an incredibly useful tool for moral development, exploration, and allows us to notice things we didn’t in the moment. As your son experiences more choices and novel situations, moral development through supportive self reflection will be especially important.

Circle of circuity: Bigger, Stronger, Wiser and Kind

Partnering with School

The school environment plays a crucial role in supporting identity formation. The classroom and playground contribute to all elements of social development. Long-term interventions and consistent program delivery can significantly enhance identity development. Partnering with teachers and being aware of what your children are learning beyond academic content, can help you support them and build up regular communication. Even if your child doesn’t ‘enjoy school’, they are constantly learning from their environment and making inferences about who they are and who they want to be. When necessary, advocating for additional support (or removing obstacles) in order to encourage exploration in a way that meets the unique needs of your child will be helpful. Even better, build up their self-awareness and self-esteem to enable them to notice and advocate for what they need.

Knox also has many resources that can help. See below.

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

It’s natural to feel concerned about your ability to support your child through identity development, especially if they seem disinterested in communication or guidance. Remember that identity is dynamic, and it's not too late to support your child through change and encourage new approaches and self-narratives. Even if your child appears distant, maintaining an open and supportive stance assures them of the reliable foundation they can return to.

Conclusion

The journey of identity development during adolescence is crucial for your child's future. By providing unconditional love, uninterrupted interest in their interests, fostering open communication, supporting realistic and self proclaimed goal-setting, building self-esteem, setting a positive example, and engaging with the school, your child can form a strong and positive identity. Your continued support and understanding are key to their growth and resilience.

If you are concerned for your child's wellbeing, or identity development, please contact the Knox Psychology team on psychs@knox.nsw.edu.au, or speak to your GP.

Try This!

  1. Nurture security and safety: Children may perceive parents value their devices more than them (Wang et al., 2020) which can lead to attention seeking behaviours and low self-worth. Take an interest in their hobbies, schedule time in, and allocate time where you are wholly guided by what matters most to them.
  2. Focus on what matters: "Energy goes where focus flows". Helping adolescents identify what matters to them will help identify goals, instil purpose, and reinforce their sense of independence and self.
  3. Encourage self-reflection: Adolescents need time and space to reflect on their experiences, feelings, and beliefs. Adults can encourage and model self-reflection by continuing to ask open-ended questions and providing a safe and supportive environment for adolescents to share their thoughts and feelings.
  4. Create safety in failing: To know their worth is not conditional on performance, how many likes or 'hits' they get on social media, how many games they win, or grades they get. To know they are loved no matter what and that failing is expected, see children be more courageous and willing to tolerate distress (e.g., social exclusion). This creates an inner confidence, to be value driven in their decisions over peer led, with the knowledge they will be supported through inevitable set backs.
  5. Teach healthy boundaries: Helping students become familiar with a word that many people do not like: “No.” The goal is to show adolescents that they owe it to themselves to respect their own time to know, and be accountable for, where they want and need to spend it. By focusing on what matters to them as opposed to seeking approval from others, will build fulfilment.
  6. Foster a sense of belonging: Children and adolescents need to feel like they belong and are truly accepted for who they are. Put down distractions and take an interest in what they want to tell you. It allows them to realise that they are enough. Belonging can be nurtured through scheduled time in doing shared interests, taking a vested interest in their hobbies and goals, and creating a warm and safe home environment where they feel unconditionally loved and cared for.
  7. Delegate and expect chores: Chores build on intuition, perseverance, acceptance and accomplishment for harder but necessary tasks, a willingness to tolerate inconvenience and sacrifice, to muck in for the greater good, that all contribute towards a healthy and positive social identity.
  8. Knowing and utilising strengths: Strength spotting conversations can be fun, earnest, and contribute a positive self-view. While challenging children to utilise their strength in new settings is found to boost wellbeing even more.
  9. Challenge unhelpful stereotypes and biases: Stereotypes and biases can undermine adolescents’ sense of self-worth and restrict identity development. By questioning stereotypes, adults can help young people embrace their unique qualities and perspectives.

For older teens:

  1. Encourage a Personal Development Plan: Recognising positive characteristics of role models and envisioning their best future self can help identify skills and values they want to grow and nurture.
  2. Participate in Causes and Activities that Reflect Values: Joining a group of people who share your values and aspirations in working toward a common goal fosters healthy identity development, meaning and purpose.

Practical Resources

Monash - building a powerful self identity

Circle of Security - Group Work

What is Identity?Tips and tools for building self-esteem

Toxic Achievement Culture

Understanding Adolescence

Confidence and Motivation

References

Berzonsky, M.D. (2011). A Social-Cognitive Perspective on Identity Construction. In: Schwartz, S., Luyckx, K., Vignoles, V. (eds) Handbook of Identity Theory and Research. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi-org.simsrad.net.ocs.mq.edu.au/10.1007/978-1-4419-7988-9_3

Berzonsky, M. D., & Papini, D. R. (2021). Cross-lagged associations between cognitive dispositions, identity processing styles, and identity commitments. Self and Identity, 21(8), 963–979. https://doi-org.simsrad.net.ocs.mq.edu.au/10.1080/15298868.2021.2013309

Bosch, L. A., Segrin, C., & Curran, M. A. (2012). Identity Style During the Transition to Adulthood: The Role of Family Communication Patterns, Perceived Support, and Affect. Identity, 12(4), 275–295. https://doi-org.simsrad.net.ocs.mq.edu.au/10.1080/15283488.2012.716379

Czyżowska N. (2022). Identity Processing Style and Meaning in Life among Emerging Adults: Mediational Role of Commitment. International journal of environmental research and public health, 19(11), 6585. https://doi-org.simsrad.net.ocs.mq.edu.au/10.3390/ijerph19116585

Tsang, S. K., Hui, E. K., & Law, B. C. (2012). Positive identity as a positive youth development construct: a conceptual review. TheScientificWorldJournal, 2012, 529691. https://doi-org.simsrad.net.ocs.mq.edu.au/10.1100/2012/529691

Verhoeven, M., Poorthuis, A. M. G., & Volman, M. (2019). The Role of School in Adolescents’ Identity Development. A Literature Review. Educational Psychology Review, 31(1), 35–63. http://www.jstor.org/stable/45133320