'Adolescence'
What's social media got to do with it?
The scapegoat is seemingly the digital world, and more specifically the continuous access to unregulated content that propagates misconstrued truths, unhealthy social comparisons, and unhealthy identity development at a time of peak susceptibility. For most Adolescence is a hard watch, and perhaps even more so for parents of teenagers. As a mother of a kindergarten boy, even my anxiety was ignited.
A core topic of conversation despite the explicit narrative in the show, is the insidious and vast dissemination of toxic communication. Tanner and colleagues (2025) describe toxic communication as“the deliberate framing and intensification of gender relations through the lens of male control and domination, alongside the denigration, devaluation, or defamation of feminine and non-binary identities associated with hegemonic masculinity”. That “manifests in a spectrum ranging from subtle humour to explicit violence. This diversity of content potentially appeals to a wide range of the population across varying tastes, ages, and attitudes toward gender while perpetuating narratives that reflect and reinforce entrenched patterns of male dominance” .An issue that continues to be debated within our parent and school communities.
Nevertheless, the fear of our teen’s susceptibility to external influences is not new, and certainly not specific to this generation. Caregivers will inherently see risk and danger in things that were not part of our own development, or that feel outside our control of influence. Neurologically and developmentally, we know the adolescent brain is underdeveloped and typically influenced by social status above most things. Perhaps then this fear is not wholly misplaced.
What does research tell us?
During the 21st century, violent video games were a perceived threat to the development of our teens. Early research of this era concluded a causal relationship between violent video games and aggressive behaviour (Anderson & Bushman, 2001; Sherry, 2001). More recently a Task Force on Violent Media established by the American Psychological Association (APA) in 2013, concluded watching aggressive video games was positively associated with desensitisation (reduced physiological response violence) and aggressive attitudes. Politicians, legislators, and parents understandably react to shield their children from this perceived threat. Yet, policies are poorly enacted upon, and many legislative attempts failed due to lacking evidence.
Despite the relationship between violent content and aggressive attitudes, this same Task Force failed to find a direct relationship with aggressive behaviour. Still today, this relationship between violent media and aggressive behaviours remains unsupported (Ferguson et al., 2020). Additionally, despite many beliefs the association between violent game exposure and antisocial behaviour, academic performance, depressive symptoms, and attention deficit symptoms are negligible (Ferguson, 2015; Nikkelen et al., 2014). Of those associations reported, most have not been found when subjected to updated and robust statistical analysis (Ferguson et al.,2015; Hilgard et al., 2019; Kühn et al., 2018).
Nevertheless, there is an interesting observation that the relationship between violent exposure and violent behaviour is more consistent amongst individuals in juvenile detention centres (DeLisi et al., 2013). Yet, when statistical analysis controls for gender, age, family environment, and mental health the relationship disappears (Gunter & Daly, 2012). This indicates that while there may be a small association between violent imagery and behaviour amongst at-risk populations other factors have a significantly greater effect on behaviour.
Similarly, research on the relationship between time spent on the internet and depression, and time spent on the internet and toxic masculinity have been weak. Arguably, the online world is not an intrinsically bad place.
Citing a business insider article, Elizabeth Morgan, assistant professor of Psychology at Springfield College pointed out the “primary motivation [of online engagement] is to maintain connections, and establish new connections, with other people,", especially important for individuals with niche interests. In fact, studies have found that engagement with social media can boost happiness, and connection (Bednar, 2016).
However, the opposite is true when social media is used excessively, especially when it is the predominant source for identity exploration. While identity exploration and risk taking are a normal part of adolescent life, when social media is used disproportionally to express and seek social acceptance, behaviours can be misguided. Problematic engagement in social media has been found to disrupt daily activities and relationships, and is associated with depression - a relationship found more common amongst boys than girls.
Furthermore, negative social media interactions are associated with toxic masculinity, whereby the impact of decisions are far-reaching with a greater risk for negative outcomes. The irrevocability of what happens online means lapses in judgment can wreak havoc on young lives. Meanwhile, information about sites they visit may be captured and used to target them with advertising. The above article highlights the complexity of privacy calling on the need for good judgement "which kids don't always have" (cited by Dr. Barry Sarvet, chair of Psychiatry at Baystate Medical Center to highlight, Bednar, 2016).
Seemingly, while excess time spent on social media may be problematic, it is the why and how of social media use that potentially has a greater consequences on social wellbeing and mental health. For more on the impacts of social media see our previousarticles.articles.
The risk lies in how and why social media is used.
Identifying the threat.
Understandably, it is normal for loving parents to experience fear and a need to protect or at least attenuate the risk online. This may manifest in micromanaging homework and technology use, restrictions and punishments, or nagging and lectures (even kind ones). None of which are pleasant for the parent, or the child. Yet, perhaps the real threat is not on the dark web.
My own experience working with children and adolescents’ mirrors that of Dr Cam Caswell who recently commented, “the mental health of young people is not being shattered by what they see online – it is being crushed by the real-life pressures they’re carrying every single day.They feel invalidated, misunderstood, and unsupported.”
Ironically, while societal behaviours of children and teens are visible and traceable, the societal expectations of our children and teens are tracked and boundless. Shows like Adolescence brings a “brutal but necessary reminder that teens are walking tightropes every day, balancing hormones, peer dynamics, life online, and choices under constant watchful eyes and consequences that can change everything in a heartbeat”.
Perhaps most vulnerable are those children who use social media to seek acceptance while experiencing a deep sense of inadequacy offline. 'Online disinhibition' describes the oversharing of personal details that would not typically be shared in real life (Syrjämäki et al., 2024; Wang et al., 2022), and is related to life stress, low self-esteem (Chu et al,. 2023), and cybervictimisation (Sticca et al., 2013). It is therefore unsurprising that those who experience cyber-ostracism are more vulnerable to depressive symptoms (Ding et al., 2025).
Perpetrators of cyberbullying also display online disinhibition, however are more likely to experience emotional regulation difficulties, moral disengagement, and personality factors such as lower honesty-humility, and higher risk-taking. The frustration–aggression hypothesis describes the displacement of adolescents frustration that manifests into aggressive online behaviour.
Emphasising it is how teensfeel when they log on that is most important.
Clearly, it is not one trait but the the unique accumulation and interplay of risk factors that increase adolescents’ susceptibility to societal messaging and online behaviour.
Protective factors thus include helping our children and teens know their strengths and value, and moreover empowering the use of those strengths in novel situations. To allow them to explore their identity safely in the presence of guidance and in the absence of criticism, to model emotional expression and regulation, and to impart the knowledge they are loved no matter what. By helping them engage in activities that matter most to them will help provide purpose, enjoyment, and opportunities for accomplishments and positive feedback. This may include but not excluded to hobbies, community initiatives, charitable work, and part-time employment.
An article on how to support your son develop a positive identity can also be foundhere.
Most important is how teens feel when they log on.
Conclusion
The Netflix series Adolescence may be fiction, but its themes cast a spotlight on the pressures, vulnerabilities, and moral complexities that shape the lives of today's youth. While it is tempting to pin blame on technology and social media, the evidence urges us to look deeper—to the emotional and psychological realities our teens are navigating offline as much as online. What they encounter on screens is not always the root of their struggles, but often a mirror reflecting the challenges they already face.
As caregivers, educators, and community members, we must move beyond fear-based responses and toward understanding. Our role is not to shut out the world, but to equip young people with the tools to face it with resilience, empathy, and self-awareness. Connection, not control, is the cornerstone of protection. That means open dialogue, guidance over judgment, and creating environments—both digital and real—that validate rather than diminish.
Ultimately, the question isn’t whether the world is dangerous—but whether our children feel safe, seen, and supported enough to navigate it. And that responsibility, complex as it is, lies with us.
Partnering with School
To come.
Try This!
- Battling the “all my friends are on it” comments. Consider how mature your child is, what their mood is, and what their intention is with their social media use. Discern as best you can how vulnerable they might be and their level of judgment.
- Openly talk to your children and adolescents about their online use and the specific issues that today's online kids face, such as cyberbullying, sexting, and difficulty managing their time;
- Address the 'participation gap' by becoming better-educated about the many technologies children and teens are using. See the Australian Federal Police resource on emojis, emoticons and acronyms.
- Supervise online activities via active participation and communication, not just via monitoring software.
- Place emphasis on citizenship and healthy behaviour.
- Ease up on the pressure and persuade teens that that they don't have to market themselves constantly. Encourage the use of social media for fostering collaborative relationships, rather than competition, aggression, and irresponsible behavior that contributes to anxiety and depression.
- Help your child to be more intentional about their social media use. Create more structure to social media use (i.e. schedules) that prevent children from diving into, say, Snapchat as an emotional regulation strategy.
- Provide healthy emotional coping alternatives.
- Model, instruct, and support alternative emotion regulation strategies. See resources below.
Index
Moral disengagement: a cognitive process by which a person justifies their own harmful or aggressive behaviour by loosening self-regulatory morals (Bandura, 1986)
Cyber-ostracism: the feeling of being rejected by others online
References
A nightmare... every parent should see this. DRAMA THAT GRIPS TERRIFIES MUMS DADS Teen murder, social media pressure, toxic masculinity.. SARA WALLIS on the unmissable new Netflix show. (2025). Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland), 20-.
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